Focus on LONDon!

Welcome to London!

One of the most vibrant cities in the Southeast of England on the Thames Estuary. Whether you’re just here for the day, or tied to a life of toil and drudgery by actually living here, we’ve come together to pull together the best places to visit and sites to see!

Welcome to London!

TOP 10 PICKS. Sponsored by Bill’s bikes – the independent unregulated bike repair specialist.

Brians Bikes
Brians Bikes for when your bike is broke.n

London is England’s Capital and there are all kinds of Capital attractions here for the visitor and the resident alike. Here are some of our top picks. And if you go by bike there’s a discount on all travel in fact its free.

1. The London Eye. You’re watching it. It’s looking back at you. Freaky and unnerving. Get there by cycle route CS1.

2. The Houses of Big Ben. Technically Big Ben is the bell or whatever. You’d recognise it. It’s where the MP’s live. Bike parking is underground and requires a pre-arranged cabinet position.

3. Buckingham the Palace. Built in the something-hundreds, Buckingham Palace is a huge draw for tourists all round the world hoping to get a glimpse of the Queen but she’s not that stupid. Buy a ticket and enter a prize draw to get a glimpse of one of her shoes. Or hide in one of the cupboards hoping to surprise her. Cycling not permitted in the corridors.

4. Old Street Roundabout. No explanation necessary. Try this for a challenging cycle during rush hour.

5.  Oxford Street. For the ultimate shopping and bumping into people experience. Cycling is only permitted on the escalators and a helmet is advised.

6. Tower Hamlets Community Centre. I’ve done it.  We’ve all done it. So should you. Front wheel replacement and new recycled bike locks can be purchased from No. 24. If the dog is barking just come back later.

7. The Italian Embassy. Necessary for all visas and permits to work. Best visited with an Italian who needs to tackle an issue relating to their conditions of entry. Guided tour not available. Ask the receptionist for your free I Love Berlusconi Handlebar neon effect face mask.

8. Madame Toussauds! Have they made a wax work of you yet? Not likely, you nobody. Why not try to get a finger up a waxy effigy of your favourite celeb. Don’t forget to sign the petition.

9. The Toliet. No visit would be complete without one. Men only in the men’s please. Costs vary. No bikes.

10. St Paul’s Cathedral and Tube Station. Don’t get them mixed up! Lighting a candle in the tube is dangerous and illegal. Seriously.  Boris bikes are available for cycling the gallery but need to be carried from street level.

11. And many more! Harrods! Sports Direct, Brixton! The Natural History Museum Dinosaur bit! The Olympic park! Dog shit! And of course Brian’s Bikes! Where you come first! –  if you’ve booked.

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Author: James

James Marson is a writer from South London and author of "The Colour of Robots", a comic sci-fi novel as well as an aspiring screenwriter. He also writes spoof travel blog "The Lazy Planet Guides"

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