Welcome to London!

One of the most vibrant cities in the Southeast of England on the Thames Estuary. Whether you’re just here for the day, or tied to a life of toil and drudgery by actually living here, we’ve come together to pull together the best places to visit and sites to see!

Welcome to London!

TOP 10 PICKS. Sponsored by Bill’s bikes – the independent unregulated bike repair specialist.

Brians Bikes for when your bike is broke.n

London is England’s Capital and there are all kinds of Capital attractions here for the visitor and the resident alike. Here are some of our top picks. And if you go by bike there’s a discount on all travel in fact its free.

1. The London Eye. You’re watching it. It’s looking back at you. Freaky and unnerving. Get there by cycle route CS1.

2. The Houses of Big Ben. Technically Big Ben is the bell or whatever. You’d recognise it. It’s where the MP’s live. Bike parking is underground and requires a pre-arranged cabinet position.

3. Buckingham the Palace. Built in the something-hundreds, Buckingham Palace is a huge draw for tourists all round the world hoping to get a glimpse of the Queen but she’s not that stupid. Buy a ticket and enter a prize draw to get a glimpse of one of her shoes. Or hide in one of the cupboards hoping to surprise her. Cycling not permitted in the corridors.

4. Old Street Roundabout. No explanation necessary. Try this for a challenging cycle during rush hour.

5.  Oxford Street. For the ultimate shopping and bumping into people experience. Cycling is only permitted on the escalators and a helmet is advised.

6. Tower Hamlets Community Centre. I’ve done it.  We’ve all done it. So should you. Front wheel replacement and new recycled bike locks can be purchased from No. 24. If the dog is barking just come back later.

7. The Italian Embassy. Necessary for all visas and permits to work. Best visited with an Italian who needs to tackle an issue relating to their conditions of entry. Guided tour not available. Ask the receptionist for your free I Love Berlusconi Handlebar neon effect face mask.

8. Madame Toussauds! Have they made a wax work of you yet? Not likely, you nobody. Why not try to get a finger up a waxy effigy of your favourite celeb. Don’t forget to sign the petition.

9. The Toliet. No visit would be complete without one. Men only in the men’s please. Costs vary. No bikes.

10. St Paul’s Cathedral and Tube Station. Don’t get them mixed up! Lighting a candle in the tube is dangerous and illegal. Seriously.  Boris bikes are available for cycling the gallery but need to be carried from street level.

11. And many more! Harrods! Sports Direct, Brixton! The Natural History Museum Dinosaur bit! The Olympic park! Dog shit! And of course Brian’s Bikes! Where you come first! –  if you’ve booked.

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Who are Lazy Planet? Please see this description here

We’re a small but dedicated team here at Lazy Planet.

Meet them. Go on.

Editor’s note. Due to time constraints and some problems with the email this morning the team weren’t able to submit their own bios so I have done my best.  Our Founder, Brian did manage to send me the following:

Do I look like I give a monkey’s bollock? Can’t you do it?

Brian Smudge – Founder of Lazy Planet

Nice hair. Brian May.

Brian has been working in blogging for all of five minutes now and already knows he’s destined for greatness. Frequently hungover for no explicable reason, Brian has various allergies that impede his ability to interact with keyboards. He once met Lionel Blair, who is not, as far as we can tell, aware of the interaction and has resisted all attempts to rekindle the relationship. Brian lives with his mother, and has two cats. Or possibly that’s the other way round.

Linaeus

Arty.

Linaeus joins us from Sweden where he recently graduated from a degree in plasticine modelling. He likes girls, talking, wearing scarves, coffee, photography and being admired by strangers from afar. Pet hates include Tube passengers who put their feet on seats and the serial mis-management of nuclear waste. He has several pairs of identical trousers.

Bethan

I don’t think this is her.

Bethan is the only girl on the team but she hates it when people draw attention to it, almost as much as we hate it when she uses it as an excuse for not getting a round in. She likes reading, travelling and meeting new people. Recently Bethan took up knitting, complaining about the Great British Bake off on Twitter and sky diving. Bethan will be celebrating her eightieth birthday this May.

Dean

Where?

Dean likes music. Mainly his own, which he records with his mate Ropey Pete. They are going to have a band. That’s what he says. A band.

Sidney
Sidney is the only member of the team to have served time for armed robbery. He likes respect, crisp shirts and to be brought nice things. He has had a tattoo a year since he was five, although it’s impossible to tell how old he is as ninety percent of these are on his inside thigh and no-one has ever ventured down there as far as we can tell. Sidney is very excited about the project and is particularly keen to understand when his expense account will come online.

Emily

WTF?

Emily is the only other girl on the team but don’t tell Bethan. Emily likes horses, partying and the lesser well-known poems of John Hegley. A recent graduate of the University of Durham, Emily is excited about adding new skills to her CV and progressing into a proper career in journalism as soon as it humanly possible.